I wish I could say what’s on my mind. I type out aggressive responses that I’ll never send and no one will ever see because I quickly delete how I feel. This photo series, “Cyberspace Diary,” explores sentiments that I’d never say out loud and transposes those thoughts into an internet collage setting by dissecting the theme of privacy and personal expression online. My goal was to convey a sense of intimacy with my internal thoughts and to expose a hidden, yet essential, aspect of my character. I was interested in creating digital collages about decomposing friendships, regret, internal conflict, romantic entanglements, independence, and regret. I wanted to create a series of photographs that would be accessible to young adults transitioning into reality. I drew my inspiration from countless nights scrolling through Tumblr, instant messages from my past loves, and consulting the internet with questions born out of crisis. I wanted to explore what it would be like to project my most personal thoughts onto a Facebook status or unresponded text message.
“Cyberspace Diary” contains mesmerizing images that are juxtaposed by the unpleasant and painful thoughts I have regularly. I decided to use 35mm photographs as the background for each collage to bridge the gap between the film pictures I take and my online persona. I was interested in creating dreamy visuals by melting these film photographs with the geometric impact of social media. Each photograph that was chosen represents a vulnerable or intimate moment in time and is paired accordingly with a sentiment that’s fitting to the emotion I was experiencing. The process of designing these online collages posed issues, but the true struggle was expressing myself and letting go of the fear of voicing my repressed thoughts and emotions.