Four False Mantras We Need to Remove in Order to Live Happier Lives

1. “I’m not like most girls” is one of the top phrases that needs to die in a fire. Yes, I have been guilty of these little comments we say about ourselves, (or insults, rather.) I’ve been caught red handed saying things like, “Oh, I’m like a guy. I don’t watch chick flicks or like shopping” or “wow, he’s such a girl with his drama” but I’ve realized that it’s sayings like these which we use against each other that create the horrible images of what a girl is. You are using a negative trait to associate with the female gender. Most people would not use a race to describe an insulting action, so why use your own gender to do the same? If there were more unity regarding verbal issues like this, then maybe we could move forward to end the days of “oh, are you on your period?” or “you’re being such a girl”.

2. ​Another phrase that needs to see its eternal end is “Real Women Have Curves.” Everyone should feel confident with whatever body type they have. Using this phrase, we uplifting a body type at the cost of all other body types. I fully support the movement to feel liberated if you are a plus size beauty queen or any size, but those little catchy phrases being promoted on Instagram may insult another person who is also struggling on a different end of the body positive spectrum. Social media affects us in both positive and negative ways, and there are ways to promote positivity without making unfair comparisons and deeming certain body types illegitimate humans.

​3. Mad at your bestie? In the midst of a lovers’ spat? I know it’s hard, but subliminal statuses about others won’t heal your hurt feelings. All genders are guilty of this, but my newsfeed does generally flood with girls posting sad song lyrics, nonchalantly directed to the first love who broke their heart. I’m sure all of us have posted something rather insulting about someone who wronged us. Even I had to put myself in check with this bad habitat. If you post something really comical or insulting about your ex’s new girl or a girl you don’t get along with, you are saying more about yourself than you are about them. There are people who view you as respectable or admirable, but when you post someone’s dirty laundry on the Internet you may blur this great image you have built for yourself. I come across insults about myself on the Internet on a weekly basis, so I understand the need to have a rebuttal. It takes a grand amount of self-control to ignore and refrain from posting something back, because I know I don’t want to be viewed as less than who I really am. In the long run, my silence against negative “feedback” shows strength. A part of maturity is feeling insulted and trying to understand someone’s situation rather than hurt that person back. Nothing hurts an enemy more than them knowing you’re not taking the time to think about them.

4. ​Finally, we need to end this silent taboo we have about complimenting each other. At first, when I started telling girls that I like their style or their outfit I thought to myself that they’re going to think I’m sarcastically insulting them or I’m trying to date them. I know it has lifted my spirits to hear someone say they like my dress or tattoos, so I feel it’s important to maybe boost someone’s self esteem that may be experiencing a rough day with a simple act of verbal kindness. I have a lot of girl love for female celebrities and women I know personally, so it’s necessary to show that we are not this catty gender that hates one another.

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4 thoughts on “Four False Mantras We Need to Remove in Order to Live Happier Lives

  1. .” A part of maturity is feeling insulted and trying to understand someone’s situation rather than hurt that person back. Nothing hurts an enemy more than them knowing you’re not taking the time to think about them”
    The second sentence contradicts the first. If one understands a screwed up persons situation or history it often lessens the desire to hurt them. For me, the value of ignoring the insulting person or being calmly polite to them, is to keep my own energy for my own self love and creativity, not waste it on a fruitless dispute. It also reinforces the idea that considerate public behavior is more attractive and productive than put-downs and rudeness.

  2. Pingback: Link Love (2014-10-25) | Becky's Kaleidoscope

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