I do not eat in front of my family
I make trips to the kitchen
that prove unfruitful
because I have seen another human face
and it has dissuaded me from eating.
I don’t tell my mother
because I know that one time
She was in Kmart and saw a mother from my elementary school
Whose daughter was a 0.
She was in the normal section
They saw her in plus
She told me she was embarrassed.
So she had me try cutting calories
And the 3 day diet
And Weight Watchers
And the nutritionist
And running with her
Almost the weight loss surgery our insurance didn’t cover
Paying me didn’t work
Begging me didn’t work
Buying me clothes too small didn’t work
Because I am fat.
My father says fat people are incapable of sexual relationships.
My mother says no boys will love me if I am fat.
My brother says he will disown his children if they are fat.
My other brother says fat is lazy.
I do not eat in front of my family.