Hits and Shits

The past week, I’ve been pretty focused on picking out a Halloween costume, so little has passed through the grapevine news-wise. As per usual, it doesn’t take too much for us to realize that there are some SUPER amazing things going on and some very horrible happenings. Buckle up, because this recap is going to be dangerously dramatic!

The Hits:

American Horror Story: Coven

Fierce fashion and an amazing storyline was wired to our televisions. AHS started off strong this week. I know this not because I watched it, but because my entire newsfeed and their mothers live blogged it. “OMG”, seems like there are some strong, powerful bitches and we cannot wait to watch this season unravel. Plus, we’re always up for a good spook!

A Very Clinton Anniversary! 

Hillary and Bill celebrate 38 years together, as of yesterday. Now, we know it hasn’t always been the best, but something tells me that Hillary is in control, and we’re alright with that! 38 years of power-housing and saxophone playing is hopefully enough for The Clintons to be make it back to their favorite home: The White House.  I’d also like for them to have a reality TV show much like the Osbornes. Can we start a petition for that?

Black & Jewish

The video isn’t new, but I saw it for the first time. You might be thinking: “Um, but this is super problematic…” Bitch, it might be. ON THE OTHER HAND, it brings up a great point about not judgin’ books by their cover. Just this past Saturday, I got a cab to Brooklyn with some friends at 2am, after a great Shabbos dinner and discussion, and our black cab driver said “I’m Jewish, too!” His statement was followed by lots of cheering from us, to welcome a new member to our family. Mazel Tov!

The Shits

#FatShamingWeek

The act of fat shaming can go get hit by a bus because I’m really tired of this shit. Return of Kings is back to being their uninformed selves by announcing that it’s fat shaming week. (Remember, these writers also think fat girls should be put in prison) RoK writer Roosh declares that our society needs this week of discrimination because men can only get laid if they feel powerful and if a woman doesn’t love herself. In Roosh’s opinion, all women should be starving and have low self esteem. He writes, “If a fat woman goes to the bar with attitude, thinking she’s a great catch, but several men check her for that arrogance by calling her a grenade launcher, do you think she’ll feel comfortable the next day for her scheduled cupcake and ice cream binge?” Return of Kings and Roosh: You can go fuck yourself. Maybe you’re not getting laid because you are all assholes. Maybe, just maybe, it’s possible that women feel good about themselves because they’re too smart to be fucking men like you.

Gaga releases track titles for ARTPOP

I remember when GaGa was singing about poker faces, disco sticks and poisoning her boyfriend. This gurl is powered on being political, but her new album is filled with DON’TS! She already released the song Burqa, which mysteriously disappeared after she received ample amounts of criticism she got for her shit-storm of privilege. (And she would note that it seems her song has been conveniently renamed to “Aura”? She still has that little tidbit about the burqa. She isn’t fooling us one bit.) Her “little monsters” decorated a wall with the names of track from her new album, and a song titled “Gypsy” is proudly displayed. This mama monster doesn’t seem to understand appropriation, no matter how much the public protests her role in politics. Listen up, GaGa!! People are telling you the truth! You’re being offensive!!!!

Dr. Howie Feltersnatch

Our editor, Jordan, was shopping around for Bitchtopia’s favorite Holiday and came upon this beaut: A gyno costume for an adult male. We usually have one “shit” that speaks for it self, so we’re gonna let Doc Feltersnatch do all the talking for this one.

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