If I Am a Slut, So Is Your Mother

And for good measure, so is your grandmother, your aunt, your sister, your girlfriend, your best friend and all the other females in your life that have ever profoundly affected you. And yes, they have affected you. Whether it was through their words, through their love, through their dreams, through their struggles,  OR even through their vagina, they have affected you.Unfortunately, it seems to be that affecting any one person or any one thing, whether it’s with our vagina or not, we cannot avoid being put under attack by our male counterparts and even our fellow ladies.Under attack — how funny. I don’t ever recall a war being declared upon the women of our world because it is not like women create, nurture, and birth LIFE from their sacred vessels; because it is not like we do not have a history spanning just as much time as men; because it is not like we mothered and cared and loved for the current “leaders” of our countries who think that it is alright to spit hateful slurs, ideals, and condemnations back at us. It’s not like we’re not HUMAN.And that’s the thing: we are human. We are just as much human as ANY MAN and his SUPPOSEDLY SUPERIOR PENIS because he would not have that penis if it were not for the fact that his mother birthed him out of her fucking vagina. So why is it that this war (and yes, it’s a war – if you find it to be less than, I urge you to reconsider and to look around you because it’s here) against women is so prevalent?Simply, we are letting it happen. It is not just the men spewing bullshit over sticking aspirin between a lady’s knees; it is the women as well who have allowed themselves to call one another sluts, whores, prostitutes, cunts, bitches, hoes. And there are more petty insults and, for some reason, they are all tied in with being a woman. Nag, shrew, harpy, floozy, tramp, harlot, strumpet, trollop, banshee – the vocabulary that has been built up over time to tear down the women of the ages is exhausting.  It is daunting to know that they are all still used every single day to women around the world who do not deserve it, who do not need it, who do not want it, and who are worth so much more than the derogatory words that are hurled at them.  This is not to say these words cannot be used in an appropriate fashion, but where do we draw a line? Or better yet, how can we not draw a line?

Women are strong, powerful, and beautiful creatures and yet society, politics, peers, and the men and women that we love continue to find ways to cut us down. Whether it is birth control, abortion, women’s health, women’s sexuality or spirituality, equal pay, equal treatment,  or whatever else your thoughts can muster, we are continuously attacked for any of the above and simply because we are women; because we, for thousands and thousands of years, have been considered, without a doubt, second class citizens. Even now in our modern times, the majority of the world, women included, continue to view females as weak-minded, slutty idiots who cannot think, feel, or even do things for themselves. We have rich, middle-aged (and old), religious white men out there on podiums built upon corruption, lies, and ugliness denouncing the female dignity and integrity that we struggle to hold onto every single day.

It is wrong. It is so disgustingly, terrifyingly wrong that I am angry. I am furious. I am so far from being placated or talked down. (And yes, I may be frighteningly late in the game, but now is better than never.) It is inherently wrong, and if you can look at the media and politics and still brush aside what is being said about any woman – familiar or not –  you do not deserve to have had a mother sacrifice so much just to push you out of her body.

Everyday women are physically, mentally, and emotionally abused by family, friends, spouses or partners, and by the outside world. And even if we are being called too fat, too dumb, too emotional, too slutty, or any other derogatory euphemism punched into our gut throughout the years, WE women are still strong, powerful, beautiful creatures; we must embrace this. We must realize that if we do not stand up for ourselves and stand up for one another, we are going to continue to have to hold the proverbial aspirin between our knees as the hatred rains down upon us from men who have somehow gotten away with degrading the reason that there are even people on this earth to this day.

So I am going to be making some changes, and I am hoping that you can at least reevaluate, if not reconsider, the choices that you are making in your life.

  • STOP the hate speak. If we continue to call one another whores, sluts, cunts and all the other colorful words that we have come up with for women, it only makes it that much more “acceptable” for men to call us whores, sluts, and cunts. We are NOT sluts. We do not ASK for it. Women are sexual beings who should not be judged for their actions no more than men are judged for theirs. We are ALL different, so shit-talking a fellow woman for things as absurd as her weight, appearance, or life decisions is both unfair and nasty, and makes you just as bad as the worst of them. We may not agree with our fellow ladies, we may not even like them, but none of us deserves blatant, unwarranted hatred. Do not wait around for someone better, someone stronger, someone more eloquent to come by and stick up for the person that is standing right in front of you. Do it now because even your smallest efforts can still make a difference.
  • STOP letting ANYONE get away with it. Stand the fuck up and speak up. Change can only be made when you demand it and change it for yourself. Do not wait around for someone better, someone stronger, someone more eloquent to come by and stick up for the person that is standing right in front of you. Do it now because even your smallest efforts can still make a difference.
  • STOP accepting less and START demand more. Do not take no for an answer. Do not take maybe for an answer. Ask, plead, beg, and demand your politicians to make a stand against the blatant hatred that surrounds us. We deserve it.
  • STOP NOT caring. Apathy and standing by the wayside as your fellow females are thrown under the bus is what hurts us the most. Have an opinion. Make a stand. Stand for SOMETHING. You don’t have to agree with everything I have written here, but at least be knowledgeable. At least educate yourself on the injustices that women live through every single day and do NOT limit yourself to the injustices of women. We are not alone in our second class citizenship. And no one struggle is the same – privilege still exists among women.

I know this is asking a lot and that this is a challenge. I, myself, have a lot to answer for, but I know that it is not impossible. I know that we need change because we cannot continue on like this.

Know this. Understand this. We are not without power, we are not without words, we are not without being able to do something, anything to make this better. Just do it.

looneycaitlin@yahoo.com

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3 thoughts on “If I Am a Slut, So Is Your Mother

  1. there is one thing I don’t understand about this… if a woman is a “slut,” is there a more graceful term I am supposed to use for her? I feel like you’re asking for people to simply accept a woman’s behavior and support her because she is a “sexual being,” but honestly, if a woman sleeps with all of her acquaintances’ boyfriends, fiancés, and husbands… am I simply to blame the man? because he is weak-willed by nature? does classifying an entire gender OTHER than the female go against what you believe…

    I don’t know, I try to be open minded but sometimes I find that this anti-slut-shaming shit is just a way for women to justify their seedy-ass behavior?

    p.s. don’t flame me femministas I am honestly curious and trying to understand

    • I think the question becomes why do you even have to label her? Why does she have to have a term? The problem is both men AND women sleep with their acquaintances’ love interests, but we aren’t calling men sluts and if we are it is never in a serious manner. It oftentimes goes back to the double standard of the thing which is so lame and overkill, but it continues to happen and it’s an issue. People hurt people all the time with their actions, and sometimes those are sexual actions, but address the actions, don’t sink to such a level that you need to call a girl a slut. There are much more inventive ways to insult a person if you really truly have to do that, but then again, ask yourself the question: why do you have to label them or give them a term just because of their actions? I think you, yourself, should go back and look at how you asked these questions. Everyone has or will partake in seedy ass behavior. Why do women have to take the brunt of it though? We are given the worst names imaginable while men partake in the same behavior and walk free.

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