Poem 2

I. I wondered why I was so
goddamn proud to be an
atheist in middle school cause
right now I wish I believed in
anything.

II. I like the byzantine icons and
every painting of jesus being
crucified and how the virgin mary was
only painted with the finest paints but
I can’t believe it.

III. you can’t tell me anything is more
beautiful than a romanesque church at
daytime with the sun glowing through old
stain glass windows, that looks like
faith to me.

IV. if I believed I’d probably just
resent god for killing my grandmothers and
still wonder why my aunt thinks they
went to hell and how can I believe in
god today when she made it out of the
holocaust but a minor heart attack
stopped her heart forever?

V. I’m not proud to see no
higher power anymore and I’ll still find
the beauty in church objects but I know I
can’t be saved and maybe I don’t want
to believe anything is greater than
me.

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